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6 things women should stop feeling guilty about

6 things women should stop feeling guilty about
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Woman in deep thoughts
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You don’t have to say yes to everything
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Whether it’s what you eat, how you look or the clothes you wear, you don’t need to meet everyone else’s expectations.
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Women should feel free to walk away from uncomfortable situations and prioritise their wellbeing without apologising.
If you are a woman in Ghana, chances are you have apologised for something you really did not need to apologise for.
Maybe you turned down an invitation because you were tired. Maybe you stayed home on a Saturday instead of attending another event. Maybe you wore the same dress to church twice in one month and hoped nobody noticed. Or perhaps you ordered the food you actually wanted instead of worrying about whether someone would think you were eating “too much.”
Women are often expected to do it all and somehow make it look effortless.
Be a good daughter. Be a supportive partner. Be a present mother. Be successful at work. Look good. Keep the house together. Attend family functions. Remember birthdays. Check on everybody. And, somehow, still find time to take care of yourself.
And when we cannot do all of that? We feel guilty.
Some of this guilt comes from the expectations we grew up with. In Ghana, many women are raised to be accommodating, respectful and available to others. Saying “no” can easily be interpreted as being rude or difficult, while putting yourself first can sometimes feel selfish.
But taking care of yourself does not make you selfish. Setting boundaries does not make you disrespectful. And you do not have to constantly prove that you are a “good woman.”
Here are six things it is time to stop feeling guilty about.
1. Cancelling plans
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Cancelling plans when you need a break
Not every invitation needs a “yes.” Sometimes you simply do not have the energy to attend another birthday party, wedding, bridal shower, family gathering or girls’ night out. And honestly, sometimes you just want to stay home.
That is okay. Women often feel the need to explain themselves when they cancel plans.
We say, “I’m so sorry,” “Something came up,” or even invent an excuse because we feel that saying “I just don’t feel like coming” is not a good enough reason. It is.
You are allowed to choose rest over another social obligation. You are allowed to have a quiet Saturday without moving from the sofa. You are allowed to protect your peace.
Of course, commitments matter, and constantly cancelling on people can affect relationships. But occasionally choosing yourself does not make you a bad friend, daughter, sister or partner.
READ ALSO: Leaked video, cyber threats or MoMo fraud? Call 292: Here’s how to report it to the CSA
2. Eating what you actually want
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Food should not be a source of shame. Yet many women have complicated relationships with food because of the constant pressure to look a certain way.
One minute someone is telling you, “You have added weight.” The next person is asking why you have become “too slim.” Then social media introduces another diet that promises to transform your body in two weeks.
And somehow, you are expected to figure it all out. If you want waakye, eat your waakye. If you want banku and soup, enjoy it. If you want salad, that’s fine too. If you are full and want to stop eating, that’s fine.
Your body is yours. That does not mean ignoring healthy eating or nutrition. It simply means you should not feel guilty every time you enjoy food or eat something that does not fit into the latest diet trend.
Food is nourishment, but it can also be pleasure, culture and comfort. There is no shame in enjoying it.
3. Wearing makeup — or not wearing it
Make up kit
Women somehow cannot win this one. Wear makeup and someone says you are doing too much. Don’t wear makeup and someone asks if you are sick or tells you that you look tired.
Straighten your hair and someone says you are trying too hard. Leave it natural and someone asks when you are going to do your hair. The pressure to always look polished can be exhausting.
The truth is simple: you do not owe anyone a particular appearance.
If you love makeup, wear it. If you enjoy spending an hour getting your brows, lashes and lipstick perfect before an event, go for it.
If your ideal Saturday is tying your hair up, putting on moisturiser and leaving the house with a bare face, that is also perfectly fine.
Looking good should be something you do because it makes you feel good, not because you are afraid of being judged.
4. Doing absolutely nothing
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A woman sleeping
There is a strange pressure these days to always be productive. If you are not working, you should be exercising. If you are not exercising, you should be travelling. If you are not travelling, you should be learning a new skill. And if you are doing none of those things, social media will quickly make you feel like everyone else is “winning” while you are doing nothing.
But sometimes doing nothing is exactly what you need. You can spend your Sunday sleeping, watching movies, scrolling through TikTok, listening to music or simply lying in bed.
You don’t have to turn every free moment into an opportunity to improve yourself. You don’t have to attend every event because “you haven’t gone out in a while.”
Rest is not laziness. You are a human being, not a machine.
5. Walking away when something makes you uncomfortable
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Walking away when something makes you uncomfortable
This is one, women should take particularly seriously.
Maybe you are in a taxi and the driver’s behaviour suddenly makes you uncomfortable. Maybe someone approaches you at a bus stop and you do not want to engage. Maybe you are at an event and someone’s behaviour gives you a strange feeling.
You do not have to ignore that feeling simply because you don’t want to appear rude.
Many women are taught to be polite, accommodating and friendly. But your safety is more important than somebody else’s feelings.
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You can walk away.
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You can end a conversation.
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You can say no.
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You can leave an uncomfortable situation without giving someone a long explanation.
And you certainly do not need to apologise for protecting yourself.
6. Repeating your outfits
Let’s be honest: who has the money or the wardrobe space to wear a completely different outfit every time they step outside?
Yet somehow, women can feel embarrassed about repeating clothes, especially when pictures from previous occasions are sitting on social media.
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But that dress you wore to your cousin’s wedding last year? Wear it again.
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That office dress that looks good on you? Wear it every other week.
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That favourite pair of jeans? Please, wear them until you are tired of them.
Repeating clothes is not embarrassing. It is practical, economical and, in many ways, better for the environment. You do not need a new outfit for every wedding, birthday, church programme, funeral, date or Instagram post.
Your clothes are meant to be worn — not preserved for fear that somebody will notice you’ve worn them before.
READ ALSO: Here’s why women need more sleep than men
Conclusion
Perhaps the real thing women need to stop feeling guilty about is putting themselves first sometimes.
You can love your family and still need space. You can be ambitious and still rest. You can be a caring friend and still say no.
You can enjoy looking beautiful without making your appearance your entire identity.
Being a good woman does not mean being endlessly available, endlessly patient, endlessly beautiful, endlessly productive or endlessly self-sacrificing.
Sometimes, you simply need to breathe and remind yourself: I am allowed to choose myself too.
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Originally published on www.pulse.com.gh


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