Actress and evangelist Tonto Dikeh has called out Christian men who use spirituality as an excuse for emotional laziness when pursuing women for marriage.

In an Instagram video, she urged men to be more intentional and proactive during courtship.

Dikeh noted that some church brothers adopt low-effort approaches, relying on phrases like “God sent me to you” instead of putting in practical effort. She emphasized that while God can indeed send someone, using spiritual language to mask laziness is a distortion of God’s character.

The mother of one stressed that saying “God told me you are my wife” is not an excuse to bypass intentionality and investment.

She said:
“This is a very funny topic, but it is one that we actually need to discuss. So, if you are a brother in the Lord, come forward; this is for you. Why do church brothers think church sisters don’t require gifts? What about this low-effort thing you put into wooing or pursuing a woman?

“Church brothers would say, ‘God sent me to you,’ and blah, blah. God can send you, but using spiritual language to mask emotional laziness is a distortion of God’s character. Saying, ‘God told me you are my wife,’ is not an excuse to bypass intentionality and practical effort; true pursuit requires investment.”