They want to be part of your success but they don’t want to be part of your success.

Let that sit for a minute.
Confused? Read on.
They want the harvest, but not the hoe.
They want the fruit, but they skipped planting the seed.

Still confused?
Let’s put it simply and straightforward. They want the benefits, but they reject the process.

I’m sure you’ve gotten the drift now.

Indulge me.
There’s a kind of person you’ll meet on the road to anything worth having. The moment your name starts to carry weight, the moment your small hustle turns into something people notice, they show up. Smiling wide. Congratulating loud. Asking for pictures. Bro, we’re proud of you. Sister, you’re doing great. They want to sit at the table when the food is served.

But watch closely. When it was time to dig, they were nowhere. When the business was just an idea scribbled in a notebook, when you were borrowing fuel money to get to that client, when you were staying up to balance the books at 1 am, they were busy. It’s not that serious. Why are you stressing yourself? Chop life first. Now that the thing is breathing, now that customers are paying and the signboard is up, suddenly they’re family. Suddenly they’re investors. My grandmother used to say, when the soup is sweet, everyone remembers they have a spoon.

The worst, however, are not just the ones who refused to paddle. The worst are those who sit in the boat with you, smiling, and drill holes underneath. They’re body present, but deep within them they’re sinking the ship, and you won’t know until water enters. Have you had very close people patronise your competitor while your business struggles? Have you had colleagues recommend your competitor knowing very well the kind of business you’re into? Have you had your own people buy from your competitors to the point that people start to doubt your competence and the truth of what you sell? Have you had friends who claim to love you but won’t mention your work in rooms you’re not in, but they could? What if your friends who neither share your flyers nor repost your ads, who won’t tag you, who won’t even tell one person about what you do, suddenly want discounts, partnerships, or a seat at your launch? That’s what I’m talking about. That’s betrayal wearing the mask of neutrality.

Success is loud. It attracts people the way light attracts moths. But not all of them came to help you build the lamp. Some just came for the warmth. They want the title without the training. The applause without the practice. The profit without the loss. They want to post you, but they didn’t pray with you. They want to eat from your tree, but didn’t water it when it was a seedling. A goat cannot claim the yam barn because it slept by the door. Proximity is not partnership. Clapping is not contributing. And loyalty is proven in dry seasons, not in harvest.

This is why discernment is a form of money discipline. In business, we learn to separate business money from chop money. We must also learn to separate real supporters from seasonal visitors, and from saboteurs. The ones who showed up with advice when you had nothing. The ones who told you the truth when it hurt. The ones who, even when they couldn’t buy, shared your flyer, sent your number, and spoke for you in rooms you weren’t in. Those are the ones you put in the reinvest and owner pay envelope of your life. The rest? Thank them. Bless them. But don’t hand them the keys to what you bled for.

It’s not bitterness. It’s wisdom. If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will take you there. And if you don’t know who to walk with, anyone will slow you down, or worse, mislead you. Success is not a bus where everyone who waves gets on. It’s a boat. And if you take on too many people who didn’t help paddle, or who are busy drilling holes, the boat sinks with all of you inside. The hand that does not help fetch water should not be first to drink. A leaky bucket cannot hold water, and a compromised circle cannot hold vision.

So let them celebrate you. Let them take pictures. But guard the workshop. They don’t want the early mornings, the rejected proposals, the discipline of saying no to distractions. And some don’t just refuse to build; they actively work against the building. Your job is to know the difference before you start sharing what cost you everything. Because not everyone clapping for you is clapping with you. Some are clapping while they cut the rope.